Chinese Family Relationship Terms

Family ties are of great importance to the Chinese, and huge emphasis is given to terms of family members, including relatives. However distant a relative may be, you can be almost sure that there is some specific name for him or her. That is, from your perspective, that relative is not just an ‘uncle’ or ‘aunt’, nor just a ‘cousin’.

Perhaps it can be said that “輩分” (bèifen) which means something like seniority or status in the family, is the core of the family system. This is not confined to just the nuclear family, but also to the whole extended family, which of course can be absolutely gigantic. Everybody has a ‘status’ in their family, and the designation gives a ‘direction’ as to how one acts with respect to the other person.

That names of relatives can be so specifically designated might seem mind boggling, but this can be simplified into 3 components. First, the name tells us the gender of the relative. Second, it defines whether the relative is higher or lower than you in the family hierarchy. Third, it reveals whether the relative is from the father’s side or from the mother’s side. (If you scrutinize the examples below, you will realize that strictly speaking this is not the case all the time, but for simplicity’s sake let’s put it this way.)

Alright, so here’s a list of the most common family terms.

Nuclear Family

Grandparents

Uncles/ Aunts

Cousins

As you can see from the list above, it is almost impossible to correctly translate the English terms ‘uncle’, ‘aunt’ or ‘cousin’ into Chinese.

Two crucial points to remember are:

1. Cousins can be “堂” (táng) or “表” (biǎo), and this might seem quite confusing at first glance, but differentiating these two apart is pretty straightforward actually – the surname says it all. Cousins from the mother’s side will have different surnames from you, so they all are classified under “表”. (Of course, by some stroke of fate your mother’s sister’s husband might have the same surname as your father, but that’s pure coincidence, so the offspring of their children will still be “表”.) On the father’s side, things can get a little tricky. Your father’s brothers’ kids all share the same surname as you, so they are all “堂”. On the other hand, your father’s sisters have different surnames from you (just like your mother’s siblings’ kids), so they all become “表”.
2. When there are two or more relatives of a similar relationship, they are marked with “大” (dà: big, first), “二” (èr: two, second), “三”(sān: three, third) to indicate their seniority. For example, “大哥” (dàgē: big brother), “二哥” (èrgē: second brother), “三哥” (sāngē: third brother).

It is a pity though that, because of the one child policy in China today, Chinese people in future will most probably be far from familiar with these terms. There also seems to be a decline in appreciation for such terms even among those Chinese with many relatives, for example, in countries like Singapore where there is strong Western influence. For some, it seems that not only is it much simpler without any term designation, it also signifies in some sense greater equality. Personally, these terms evoke in me a strong sense of kinship, and to me it is definitely more endearing to call my elder sister “大姐” (dàjiě: big sister) , and to be called “二姐” (èrjiě: second sister) by my younger siblings.

What do you think? Do share your thoughts from a foreigner’s perspective!

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